What is, is

Many of you recognize that you have a particular writing style. You may tend to write short sentences, use flowery language, or insert a lot of parentheticals (like me). But, have you ever considered that companies have styles? Whether intentionally or not, they do!

Organizational styles develop because people in organizations repurpose language and text that already exists, and people tend to write in styles similar to the style of what they read.

At JA, we have developed a worrisome habit that stems from a misapplication of a syntactic style called E-prime, which seeks to eliminate all forms of the verb “to be.” At its best, E-prime can force writers to think differently and use more creative and vivid verbs (e.g., “The project enhanced transportation options for the community” rather than “The project was a transportation expansion project.”). At its worst, E-prime can be inaccurate, grammatically incorrect, or just plain awkward.

Consider this frequent JA usage:

“The project represents the longest tunnel drive in history.”

This is an inaccurate sentence and an incorrect use of the verb “represent.” The project did not “represent” the longest tunnel drive in history; it simply was the longest. One of the philosophical bases of E-prime is that reality is perceived, not actual. Regardless of one’s opinion on that matter, the implication has no place in our work. We deal in facts, and if it was the longest tunnel drive, it was. 

Consider another example:

“The project consists of 1,560 feet of driven tunnel.” 

It is incorrect to say that one thing consists of another; the definition of “consists” that applies in this case is of multiple parts combining to make up a single new whole, like so:

“The project consists of 1,560 feet of driven tunnel, four shafts, and a new control building.”

Our final example is one that is not incorrect, but is awkward:

“The tunnels have not had an inspection since 1955.”

This sentence resulted from the desire to avoid saying “The tunnels have not been inspected since 1955.” The definition of “had” that applies in this case is “to get” — but we wouldn’t say “The tunnels have not gotten an inspection since 1955” would we? “Have not had” is only slightly less inelegant.

The bottom line? Use E-prime to liven up your language, but when something is, just say so.

Filed under: Lisa's Pet Peeves, Verbs, Word Choice, Writing

Don't Push that Send!

Not too long ago I found myself reading through an e-mail message that I had sent to a colleague, cringing. Had I really written “to” when I meant “too”? Had I really left out words in a sentence?

 Yep.

I take for granted that I’ve always been pretty good at composing text and avoiding those pesky little errors (that’s why I do what I do, after all). But certain factors can take a toll on all of us. Multitasking. Our minds getting ahead of our fingers. An empty stomach or a looming deadline.

When you find yourself hurrying or distracted, take a moment to double-check your e-mails. Breathe. Focus. Slow down as you read, and really look at every word. It doesn’t have to be elegant prose, but it ought to be error free.

Filed under: Writing

Before & After

I’ve gotten feedback from several of you that you find it helpful when I post examples of not-so-perfect writing with a (hopefully improved) edit. Accordingly, I decided to take that approach in this first post of 2008 (which hopefully marks the beginning of more regular posts here).

I pulled this text from the ‘Guide to Best Practice for the Installation of Pipe Jacks and Microtunnels’ (Pipe Jacking Association, 1995) – a book that is really nicely designed in a way that supports the technical material. This book was published in Britain, hence the British spellings.

BEFORE

It is recommended that this section is studied carefully and used to select the best excavation and face support method for the ground conditions applicable to any scheme.

There are many types and manufacturers of pipe jacking shields and TBMs, and each type will have its own design and performance characteristics. After selection of an excavation system the designer/installer should contact the equipment manufacturer to obtain precise information specific to the chosen equipment, to ascertain the suitability of its operational capacity to handle the ground conditions.

Summarised here is a guide to some of the criteria to look for in assessing the suitability of the equipment for good installation.

DISCUSSION

Paragraph 1
The passive construction makes the first sentence unwieldy. For instructional materials, the imperative is often a good choice. (Do this. Don’t do that.) Second, the phrase “applicable to any scheme” is unnecessary and vague. The sentence could end after “select the best excavation and face support method for the ground conditions.” Introducing the idea of a “scheme” reduces the impact of the sentence.

Paragraph 2
Again, we want to change the passive voice. Then, consider the last statement. Should the user not already have ascertained the suitability of the equipment’s operational capacity for the given ground conditions? Hasn’t the author just stated above that this is a purpose of this section of text? It’s best to combine the two similar ideas and place them in an order that matches the order in which the actions should be taken.

Paragraph 3
This paragraph isn’t necessary once actions are placed in the proper order and placed together.

AFTER

Study this section carefully. These guidelines will help you select the best excavation and face support methods for the ground conditions you expect to encounter, and assess the suitability of various types of equipment.

There are many types of pipe jacking shields and TBMs, and each type has unique design and performance characteristics. After an excavation system is selected, the designer/installer should contact the equipment manufacturer to obtain precise information about the equipment performance.

NOTE

If you are not comfortable using the imperative or the pronoun “you” in your writing, you can still write in the active voice, but you will not give directives. For example, your first sentences might be: “The best excavation and face support methods are the methods best suited to the ground conditions. The guidelines in this section summarize criteria for selecting excavation and face support methods appropriate to the anticipated conditions.”

Filed under: Uncategorized, Writing, Writing in Engineering

Writing Checklist

I know some of you find it handy to have a “checklist” of things to accomplish while you are writing. I have created a slightly expanded version of the checklist I used in the writing trainings I gave in the branch offices over the past few months. It is posted here.

The checklist is organized from the beginning of the writing process (planning for your audience) through the end (writing clear and concise sentences). It is intended to remind you of some of the best writing practices and to help make it easier for you to craft effective documents.

If you have questions about or suggestions for this checklist, please let me know. 

Filed under: Writing

Simplify!

I’ve said it a million times, but I’m gonna keep saying it. It’s very, very important to keep our writing simple, clear, and fluff-free. I include myself in this reminder, because I need to be reminded, too.

Some words in example from Franklin D. Roosevelt by way of William Zinsser, author of the legendary On Writing Well.

“… Franklin D. Roosevelt when he tried to convert into English his own government’s memos, such as this blackout order of 1942:

Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.

‘Tell them,’ Roosevelt said, ‘that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.”  (Zinsser, 1998)

Filed under: Wordiness, Writing

Due to the Fact that, In Order to, Because of the Fact that, etc.

If you are looking for ways to make your writing more concise (and I hope you are), watch out for “bulky” phrases that add unnecessary words to your sentences. Below, a table of some commonly used bulky phrases and potentially better options. There may be some cases in which the bulkier phrase sounds better, and that’s okay.

I know it’s tempting to choose these phrases to add “variety” to your writing. That isn’t necessary. You can reuse words like because, to, and so quite often before they will feel repetitive to your reader.

Because of the fact that	Because
In the event that	If
Due to the fact that	Due to, because, since
In order to	To
In order that	So, so that
For the reason that	Because
As of now	Now, currently
As a result of	Because

Filed under: Wordiness, Writing

Read Me!

This article is titled “Writing Tips for Non-Writers Who Don’t Don’t Want to Work at Writing.” Doesn’t that sound like you? And me? And everyone? Check it out.

Filed under: Writing

Worth a Look

Because I’m an editor, people always assume I’m interested in grammar – that I love it.

I don’t.

For me, grammar is just grammar. Writing is much more than grammar, so smart words about writing are much more interesting (and helpful) than smart words about grammar. This being the case, it’s natural that this interview with Ira Glass, creator of the uber-brilliant radio show This American Life, caught my attention. It’s only incidentally about writing (being mostly about writing for radio and being on the radio), but it’s definitely worth a look for the lessons he learned about writing well, which apply to all writing.

Filed under: Writing

Consistency

We seem to have a love/hate relationship with consistency. We know it’s important, and we generally try to be consistent, but then we start to feel like we’re being boring and predictable, so we try to “mix it up.” The result is usually not good.

The Bottom Line

Be consistent – with headings, technical terms, organizational structure, etc.

Discussion

One of the first ways we try to add variety is usually by changing how we refer to (name) something. This week, I edited a report that used about eight variations of wording to describe three things: a tunnel final lining, shaft, and pipeline. “Well, it means the same thing,” you may think, “Anyone in the field will know what I mean.” And most likely, they will. But would it have been easier, and quicker, for them to understand if you had used a consistent term? Probably. And will consistency in terms ensure that anyone else who happens to pick up your document can at least follow your text? Yes. You can never fully anticipate the range of technical expertise, attention, and linguistic competence that your audience will have. Make it easier for them. 

Filed under: Uncategorized, Writing

Sentence Length

Even when they are grammatically correct, long sentences are more difficult for readers than short sentences. This may sound obvious, but many writers do try to cram several complex, technical ideas into one sentence.

 Consider this example:

The Water Management Plan (pp. 12-14 and 18-20) points out some trade-offs of developing a Code Compliance Plan versus multiple Development Plans for the various components of the Water Management Plan (more early-stage preparation but fewer ARBs and therefore potentially a more streamlined process overall), and recommends that a few additional steps be taken before a decision is made regarding which plan to implement.

That is all one sentence, and it’s not technically incorrect (though it does have some word choice issues – we’ll be discussing “versus” very soon.) Please, please don’t be afraid of ending punctuation. It is your friend.

P.S. A revision of the above example (for those of you who like to see revisions):

Pages 12-14 and 19-20 of the Water Management Plan compare the advantages and disadvantages of a Code Compliance Plan and multiple Development Plans. The Code Compliance Plan requires more early-stage preparation but fewer ARBs, and may result in a more streamlined process. The team recommends that a few additional steps be taken before a decision is made regarding which plan to implement.

Filed under: Sentence Structure, Writing