Bulleted Lists

The following example has several problems.

The following steps will be taken to address the homelessness problem:

• Implement the proposed three-tiered strategy to end homelessness.
• Provide all homeless people with health care.
• Reporting instances of homeless abuse to the police.
• Alcoholism and drug addiction.

When working with bulleted lists, the basic idea is that all of the items should be structured similarly. In this case: a) the first bullet is a broader idea than the others, b) the verb tense is different in the third bullet than it was in the first two bullets, c) there is no verb in the fourth bullet, d) the third and fourth bullets are not sentences, but are punctuated as if they are, and e) the last bullet is much less specific than the others.

Correction:

The City will implement a three-tiered strategy to address homelessness, with particular emphasis placed on:

• Providing all homeless people with health care,
• Taking steps to ensure that instances of homeless abuse are reported to the police, and
• Addressing alcoholism and drug addiction in the homeless population.

Filed under: Bulleted Lists, Lisa's Pet Peeves, Parallelism, Sentence Structure

Sentence Length

Even when they are grammatically correct, long sentences are more difficult for readers than short sentences. This may sound obvious, but many writers do try to cram several complex, technical ideas into one sentence.

 Consider this example:

The Water Management Plan (pp. 12-14 and 18-20) points out some trade-offs of developing a Code Compliance Plan versus multiple Development Plans for the various components of the Water Management Plan (more early-stage preparation but fewer ARBs and therefore potentially a more streamlined process overall), and recommends that a few additional steps be taken before a decision is made regarding which plan to implement.

That is all one sentence, and it’s not technically incorrect (though it does have some word choice issues – we’ll be discussing “versus” very soon.) Please, please don’t be afraid of ending punctuation. It is your friend.

P.S. A revision of the above example (for those of you who like to see revisions):

Pages 12-14 and 19-20 of the Water Management Plan compare the advantages and disadvantages of a Code Compliance Plan and multiple Development Plans. The Code Compliance Plan requires more early-stage preparation but fewer ARBs, and may result in a more streamlined process. The team recommends that a few additional steps be taken before a decision is made regarding which plan to implement.

Filed under: Sentence Structure, Writing